Happy lunch time Bloggers, and TGIF!! for real!
Talk about a emotional morning, ugh... Almost put Ms.Benz and I in the hospital. Started my day from the south side of Boston which driving to work from there means catching route 1. Now if you've ever been there you know this is no place for the faint of heart when it comes to driving. They are flat out crazy out there. Well as I'm cruising along out of no where BAM! I go into a spin and loose control of my car and go right up over the curb at IParty. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. In a matter of seconds I couldn't see where I was headed and it was over as fast as it started. It was really cold this morning but I really wasn't prepared for black ice so early in the season.. I'm fine physically and Ms.Benz needs a little work but she is going to be ok. However for some reason this shook me to the bone scared. I called my boyfriend sobbing so hard I couldn't hardly tell him what happened. I know I answered all the questions he asked me, but here it is 1:30pm the same day and I can honestly say I don't remember half of what was said. I remember him telling me to sit and collect myself for a few minutes and call him again when I leave, which I did and I'm glad for it because as I said I don't remember much more so I must have been shocked? maybe? Its weird.
The thing I'm hung up on the most has nothing to do with the spin out. All I keep thinking about is how I left his house this morning and for the first ever I felt like it was the right time, and I mustered up enough guts to whisper "I love you" to him. And only seconds later did I say "Good bye" two things I almost never say. I've learnt over the years that saying "I love you" takes a whole pile of guts to expose your feeling and let someone know they have the power to hurt you. And I've also learnt that Good Bye is almost always for good. So both I choose very wisely as to say or not say. And for some reason today I did. Now here is the even stranger part of this, not 10mins. before I lost control of my car did I have the exact same conversation with my daughter. I text her to make sure she was up, she didn't answer so on my ride to the office I called her. And as we hung up, I said "I love you, have a nice day, good bye" now I always say, see you later or call me when you get home. None of this of course crossed my mind until I was finally back on the road driving the rest of my way to the office. And all I could do was cry all over again. It kinda sucked being that scared, and it kinda still sucks. I don't like not being in control of my feelings.
I'm level headed enough to know that none of this would be an issue if I didn't have the spin out, but I did and some how it has really shaken up my feelings today.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you see someone just before they pass away? Or you feel like you should play the lottery and when you do you win? maybe not much, but you do win. It's just one of those funny gut feeling that something is going on. Do you know what I mean? Has that happened to you before?
Sometimes Kids know best!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Back On Track Today - Crazy Morning Start
Day two of this blogging thing and the more I think about it the more I'm 80% positive I will end up turning this into a diary LOL. It's ok I'm happy enough with my life to share it with the planet. I'm proud of what I've done so far and Lord only knows where this will lead me. We all shall see right?
Sent my daughter to school today, flu and all, hope she makes it threw the day. She seems better and a mom never knows if it's the right choice until one of two things happens. 1) you get all the way to the office (an hour away) and the school nurse calls to tell you, "You need to come and pick up your daughter" or 2) the 2:30pm phone call comes in from your little one saying she's home from school for the day and does she really have to do all this homework. Either way, I did it knowing full well the ride home from work was going to be kind of a, shall we call it, kind of a not so exciting evening one LOL.
Sarted out the day up a little early so I thought I could sneak in a 20min run on the treadmill. This of course set the rest of the day off to a slightly behind the minute schedule of hurry ups and you're going to miss the bus rushing.
It goes a little like this, and almost everyday:
Don't forget to pack your lunch. I did. Did you get a spoon? Mom do I have to take that cold medicine? You should. Which one? The night time or the day time one? Of brother!!! really, did you get that spoon for your lunch yet? Mom I need to get in the bathroom hurry up, I have to straighten my hair. Ok OK! but you have straight hair already I don't understand. Don't forget your spoon? I wont!
Out the door we go, and sitting at the bus stop, she says to me, what if I get sick, who's going to pick me up? Don't worry about it, I will come get you if you need a ride. But mom your an hour away and if I'm sick I want to go home sooner then that. Sorry kid that's the way it is. Now here's your bus, have a good day, XO. I only get a kiss at the bus stop. If I drop her off at school its not cool, so no kiss for me.
5 minutes later I get a text message, Mom I forgot my spoon, can you bring me one?
And this is only the first two hours of the day, yikes!
In all the rushing around this morning, I did notice a little note taped to the fridge that said: do homework, no snacks, 20 min run, and 20 mins of sit-ups. Yeah! I'm a little more then siked to see her leave herself a note like this. Planning ahead is the first step, and if she does it, I will be even more excited. So happy to see her making an effort to live a healthier life style. I give her credit too, because that little note would stop me from opening the fridge, I would need more like a hammer an nails :) I hope in my heart of hearts she is feeling better and not suffering threw this day, and more then that I hope she is well enough to come home and follow her little note.
Well got to go for now, my lunch break is over and its back to business for this mom. May you all have a great day. Until tomorrow.
Sent my daughter to school today, flu and all, hope she makes it threw the day. She seems better and a mom never knows if it's the right choice until one of two things happens. 1) you get all the way to the office (an hour away) and the school nurse calls to tell you, "You need to come and pick up your daughter" or 2) the 2:30pm phone call comes in from your little one saying she's home from school for the day and does she really have to do all this homework. Either way, I did it knowing full well the ride home from work was going to be kind of a, shall we call it, kind of a not so exciting evening one LOL.
Sarted out the day up a little early so I thought I could sneak in a 20min run on the treadmill. This of course set the rest of the day off to a slightly behind the minute schedule of hurry ups and you're going to miss the bus rushing.
It goes a little like this, and almost everyday:
Don't forget to pack your lunch. I did. Did you get a spoon? Mom do I have to take that cold medicine? You should. Which one? The night time or the day time one? Of brother!!! really, did you get that spoon for your lunch yet? Mom I need to get in the bathroom hurry up, I have to straighten my hair. Ok OK! but you have straight hair already I don't understand. Don't forget your spoon? I wont!
Out the door we go, and sitting at the bus stop, she says to me, what if I get sick, who's going to pick me up? Don't worry about it, I will come get you if you need a ride. But mom your an hour away and if I'm sick I want to go home sooner then that. Sorry kid that's the way it is. Now here's your bus, have a good day, XO. I only get a kiss at the bus stop. If I drop her off at school its not cool, so no kiss for me.
5 minutes later I get a text message, Mom I forgot my spoon, can you bring me one?
And this is only the first two hours of the day, yikes!
In all the rushing around this morning, I did notice a little note taped to the fridge that said: do homework, no snacks, 20 min run, and 20 mins of sit-ups. Yeah! I'm a little more then siked to see her leave herself a note like this. Planning ahead is the first step, and if she does it, I will be even more excited. So happy to see her making an effort to live a healthier life style. I give her credit too, because that little note would stop me from opening the fridge, I would need more like a hammer an nails :) I hope in my heart of hearts she is feeling better and not suffering threw this day, and more then that I hope she is well enough to come home and follow her little note.
Well got to go for now, my lunch break is over and its back to business for this mom. May you all have a great day. Until tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Working From Home Today
Working from home today, the little one is too sick for school. One of the many ups and downs of a single mom. Although I guess this is also the way it would go for a married working mom as well.
Something happened today that made me realize the value of every minute a mom has. My daughter as sick as she is today, took a minute to thank me for staying home with her today while she is sick...? Can you imagine? As if any mom would give it a second thought?
Just goes to show how important it is to make good use of every minute we have. Sadly she (at 12) see's how much we need me to work everyday. Although I do love my job, I wouldn't think twice about walking away from it all for her needs. This is some of the things that cross my mind threw the day. I wonder if I'm the only one? Or is it this the norm for moms? So in talking with my daughter about how our life is, I got the idea to write this blog in hopes to gain some insight from other successful moms. And even maybe offer a soft shoulder to other moms or dads for that matter, that try to do it all, at any cost.
Something happened today that made me realize the value of every minute a mom has. My daughter as sick as she is today, took a minute to thank me for staying home with her today while she is sick...? Can you imagine? As if any mom would give it a second thought?
Just goes to show how important it is to make good use of every minute we have. Sadly she (at 12) see's how much we need me to work everyday. Although I do love my job, I wouldn't think twice about walking away from it all for her needs. This is some of the things that cross my mind threw the day. I wonder if I'm the only one? Or is it this the norm for moms? So in talking with my daughter about how our life is, I got the idea to write this blog in hopes to gain some insight from other successful moms. And even maybe offer a soft shoulder to other moms or dads for that matter, that try to do it all, at any cost.
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